Meal Planning for Gluten/Dairy Free homes

Here is a list of the typical meals that I cook.

Breakfast:
*Eggs & Bacon
*Oatmeal
*Bananas, grapes, rice cakes & nuts

Lunch:
*Salad - I throw whatever left over meat I have from the night before (If I have any)
*Stir fry - Mix with some soy sauce and siracha sauce (my kids like spice).
*Red beans & quinoa
*Asian chicken dumplings
*Deconstructed veggie fajitas (no tortillas)


Dinner
*Sweet potato tacos
*Squash & spaghetti sauce
*Fish (I like to cook it in the crock pot) and veggies
*Lilys Chicken (like at Bonefish) This is by far my favorite dish I LOVE goat cheese
*Rotisserie chicken, broccoli and sweet potatos
*Orange chicken
*Ground chicken with cabbage and rice
*Pot roast
*Chicken and dumplings
*Tortilla soup (My kids don't like this, but I LOVE it, so I don't care and I cook it all the time)
*Chili
*Falafel with tazzeki sauce
*Chicken gyros
*Pesto chicken

Getting ready for the kid planned vacation

I decided to let the kids plan our vacation. I gave them a complete control of our destination, budget and activities. We spent several days researching hotels, condos and destinations. Immediately we realized we needed to find a good deal on a Condo so we could cook our own food, because, eating out with a family of 7 is expensive. For the adventures they wanted to go caving, hiking and go to the beach. Since we don't live anywhere near California this was a tall order. After some research we found the caves in Mariana, FL (where my mom has an aquaponic farm). Willy works with a man who has a beach house in Cape San Blas, FL. He offered us the beach house for the price of the cleaning fee and utilities. Because Mariana is about 2.5 hours away from the beach that we are going to we are breaking our vacation into two parts. The first part we will be going down to the beach to go shark fishing (and put them back) and go hiking. The second half will be after we get back home. We will travel over to my moms farm, take a tour of the farm and then go caving. So far, we are well within our budget thanks for the generosity of our friends, and crashing at my moms house.

The biggest problem we have had to deal with is there is no grocery store in Cape San Blas. There are also no restaurants. So I have been meal planning, cooking and freezing meals. MY FEET HURT SO FREAKING BAD AND I NEVER WANT TO COOK AGAIN! I have made 4 soups, gluten free pumpkin waffles, 1 quiche, chicken fajitas and 2 baked meals. I have oatmeal, snacks coming out my ears.

I spent the day doing laundry (read - hating life) and realized a family of 7 only has 6 beds... why do we have 90 different bed sheets and thousands of towels?!?! Something needs to be scaled down here. Anyways, back to my boring laundry. I pack each kid one at a time. We are going to be gone for 5 days and 4 nights. I have a general rule that the 6 of us (I don't pack Willy Sr's stuff) need to fit everything into our one, slightly large, suitcase. Then it's large Tupperware totes for snacks, food, toiletries and diapers. This trip we are also bringing 2 coolers, fishing poles, towels, crab nets and two bikes. I am only bringing the bikes for Willy Jr., and Lisa because training wheels don't work well on dirt paths so the other kids will have to suffer, or walk.

The kids are only bringing one shoe, their Keens. Keens are awesome shoes for kids because they virtually can not be destroyed. I always find mine used to save on the price because they are expensive. The weather will be chilly at night so they will also have socks to wear with Keens, which isn't the best look but, whatevs' were on vacation.

My sister wants me to point out that I still have more organizing to do and that this blog post should really be about my ability to procrastinate. Also, how awesome of an aunt she is.

Since I do have more to do I'm out. Wish me luck on surviving a week at the beach with a baby. Also, wish the kids luck on not over spending on our budget.
UGH

I asked the kids questions

This morning I scooped up each kid and spent some snuggle time with each of them. I asked each of them a series of questions
What is your favorite thing about yourself and your least favorite thing about yourself. I then asked them the same questions about each of their siblings, Willy and I.

I was so humbled by each of their answers, but I was so surprised at the similarity of each of their answers

Lisa is kind, considerate, helpful and always willing to share or give things up for other people
She is also bossy and impulsive

Willy Jr is quiet and reserved and fair
He also will lie to keep from getting in trouble

Tilly is everyone's favorite to play with one on one. Each of her siblings said playing with just her is the funnest thing ever. Tilly said she liked how smart she is.
We all agree that she could use some work on her self control.

Eitan everyone (including himself) said their favorite thing about him was how crazy he was.
Least favorite thing was his lack of personal boundaries (he hits people)

Sawyer did not participate in this game. He doesn't say but just a few words. But we played for him.
Everyone loves Sawyer dancing and trying to communicate with us.
No one likes when he cries he also bites. No one likes that either.

Daddy works so hard so we can have food and a house, but no one likes it when he yells.

Mommy (I'm not making this up ya'll) is awesome and the best mommy ever. I yell, but each kid in their own way said they understood why I get frustrated.

Then, this is where I truly became humbled, I asked what their favorite and least favorite thing we have ever done as a family.
I kid you not, all 4 of them told me their favorite thing we have done is hang out. I asked them specifically about going to the beach, aquarium etc and every one of them said "that stuff is fun, but my favorite thing is to just hang out together".

Least favorite thing "being sent to our rooms to be alone". Except for Willy Jr who said reading "The Never Ending Story" was his least favorite thing, because "mom, it's SOooOOOOooo hard to understand".

How humbling to be reminded about what really matters, spending time together.

Four years ago

Four years ago Willy and I accepted our first foster placement. After saying no to several calls we finally said yes. When placement called they were able to tell me that it was a sibling group, two girls ages 1 & 3 and were white (hint – they aren’t). That’s it. The lady on the phone literally did not know anything else about them.

We got that call around 3pm and the placement worker told me the caseworker would call me to tell me when she was coming. At 8pm I still had not heard anything. I didn’t know the workers name, number or which office she worked in. I started calling after hours numbers and finally had someone tell me they would have her call me. At 10:30 Lisa and Tilly arrived. We met them outside in the parking lot of our apartment complex. Tilly was 20 months old and Lisa was 3.5 years old. We ordered a pizza not knowing when the last time they had been fed. This set up a tradition for us that every time we get a foster placement we order pizza! They were so happy to see that we had a Christmas tree up and a dog who loved to lick them. After the worker told very little information and had us sign a few forms we were officially guardians of two beautiful girls. The worker told us that she was no longer going to be the point of contact and the girls would be assigned a new worker in 24 hours. That ended up taking 3 months, but, that’s another story. 

Lisa eating our first meal, pizza, together

Tilly eating our first meal, pizza, together

In the interest of privacy I am not going to speak about the kids past. It’s not my story to tell. But I will talk about their time with us.

Willy and I were not prepared for the behaviors that came with the girls. It was stressful and alienating (this is a huge reason Willy and I have a support group for other foster homes). We didn’t know any other foster parents close by. The other out of state foster homes that we did know, only dealt with babies. The best way I could describe the girls is like feral dogs. Lisa was almost non-verbal. Tilly had serious issues with food. It was obvious the girls had not had much structure.  We basically had to shut down our entire world. I was not prepared for that. I was not prepared to have to get in their face and yell, just to have them acknowledge me. It took probably 3 weeks before we had any type of break through with them. I remember the first time I saw them play together. I cried. For four weeks they had totally ignored each other, survival of the fittest.  But one day, they held hands and jumped up and down and sang a Barney song. It was beautiful, but also so devastating to realize that this may have been the first time in their lives that they felt secure enough to play. We were thankfully able to get them into a specialist play therapist. She dealt with some of their specific issues that not all play therapists could handle in such detail. I noticed such a dramatic difference in their behavior and acceptance after they started in therapy. 

I am very happy to say that despite our very rough beginning both Lisa and Tilly are very well adjusted and happy. They both know they are adopted and are understanding of their past situation. Lisa is very deep, things weigh heavily on her soul. She is upset that she is losing some of her memories of her biological family. She recently told me she cannot remember their faces and that was really upsetting to her. We spent time talking about it, praying about it, and praying for healing for everyone. Tilly at this time doesn’t think about it much. She is happy and content to listen to her sister and I talk about everything. She finds healing from her past by helping her sister when she gets upset.

I am very thankful we have been able to survive our girls. And I am so thankful that we said yes to a sibling group. Allowing them to come into a home with something familiar, family, was so very therapeutic for them and watching them grow together is amazing. Their bond is stronger than other kids we know. Knowing they needed each other to survive keeps them close. 

Our week

I get a lot of questions about how we function from week to week. The Bolanders are insanely busy from the moment we wake up until our insomnia finally gives in and we fall asleep.

Thankfully since we home school we do not have to wake up early. The kids typically wake up around 7 and play and find some snacks. I roll out of bed at 7:30/8 (sometimes later, I'm not going to lie). Before I get out of bed Willy Jr or Tilly bring me a Diet Dr Pepper in bed. I would call this being spoiled, but I think it's more of a defense mechanism for the kids; When mommy's not caffeinated things go bad quickly. As soon as my feet hit the floor I'm up with 5 kids begging for food... you know, like they didn't just eat bananas, 3lbs of cashews, rice cakes and 1lb or raisins already. Breakfast is usually eggs or oatmeal. Since were gluten and dairy free cereal isn't really possible. My kids are not picky eaters in any sense but they will not touch rice/almond/soy milk. Eitan has horrible acid reflux from being so premature so when I remember, I give him his medication, most days though, he goes without. Responsibility is obviously something I take very seriously....

After breakfast I shout the same thing every single day, and every day after breakfast my kids wander around like they don't know what to do with themselves."Get dressed, make your beds and brush your teeth". They can quote it, yet get complete amnesia every morning after they eat. After they are ready they have chores while I get ready. Lisa gets all the dirty laundry into the laundry room, Willy Jr does the dishes, Tilly gets all of the house trash into the kitchen trash and Eitan feeds the cats. I battle Sawyer and get him dressed. He takes his diaper to the kitchen trash, and then proceeds to pull out all of the trash his sister just put in. Ever.Single.Day

After all of that mess we start school. Some days at this point I'm dressed, ready and even managed to brush my teeth. Most days though I'm still in whatever I fell asleep in. At some point before noon I do manage to get dressed. We recently switched to a subject a day. Math Monday, Social studies/History Tuesday, Science Wednesday,  Language arts Thursday and whatever we didn't finish on Friday. This has been fantastic. Except for Mondays, nobody likes math Monday. We have a school room/office but we never use it. Were set up at the kitchen table. Each kid has 5 drawers with 1 workbook pencil and eraser in each. On math Monday they go to their drawer labeled math, pull out their book and start working. Willy and Tilly are in the same grade math wise so they sit next to eachother and I work with them for about 10 minutes explaining whatever it is that is in their workbook that day. Then they start. Lisa is supposed to open her book and read the instructions and see what she can figure out before I come help. Every Monday this equates to her sitting and doing nothing for 10 minutes. Eitan has a workbook too. He likes to do "REAL" school. His is mostly tracing shapes and doing mazes. Everyone knows that I walk in a clockwise circle at the table. When I'm standing behind you, its your turn to ask questions. If I am not behind you, you sit and wait, or skip the question your stuck on until I get to you. I'm constantly hovering and walking in circles. I like to consider this my daily exercise. Once you have completed your pages for the day, your done. Go play, go destroy, just stay out of the kitchen. On days where I am doing most of the reading we sit on the sofa and the kids rotate who sits next to me.

Each week we participate in Gymnastics, BMX, Flag football practice, flag football games, drama, Speech therapy, play therapy and homeschool co-op. Once a month we have a foster/adoptive support group meeting and marine biology club meeting. This keeps our afternoons very busy. We spend a lot of time in the car driving from one place to another. If the kids were feeling ... less than motivated to finish the schoolwork then these extra curricular activities don't happen. I have been known to make them get dressed up for whatever were going to and make them sit and watch their friends while they finish their school work. It's amazing how quickly work gets done when all of your friends are playing and your not.

My kids are very active. Even though they only drink water I'm pretty sure someone is sneaking them caffeine when I'm not looking. Earlier this week I found Lisa "napping" on the roof. Eitan jumped over our 6ft privacy fence AND over our 4ft "impenetrable" pool fence. One of their favorite things to do in the back yard is climb our fence, and jump from our fence to the neighbors tree, climb down, play with their dogs and then climb back over, it's a funny sight to watch. I believe as I type this they are on top of our fence eating kumquats off of the neighbors tree.

Anyways, once we get home from all of these things everyone is STARVING. Like they didn't eat 50 snacks each in between each meal. I don't know how, but every single day meal time sneaks up on me. I AM NEVER PREPARED! I used to crock pot a lot but I lost my crock pot mojo and now I scramble to get a meal together. I should really get better at this sort of stuff. But here I am, 1:30 in the afternoon not prepping for dinner, but instead wasting my time (and yours) on the internet.

After dinner we shove as many kids in baths as we have energy for. Lisa and Willy can bathe themselves which is nice. Tillys hair is so long and thick she needs help and probably will for the rest of her life. Eitan and Sawyer get shoved into a bath together and by the time they are done it's murky enough to make an alligator happy.

Bedtime stories are a chapter book. Right now we are reading "The never ending story". It has been a great, but very challenging book, I feel like we may never finish it because we spend so much time talking about what each and every sentence means.

I try to make it to the gym 3x's a week and Willy and I try and have a date once a week. This time is really important to my mental health. I love my kids and I miss them when I'm gone even for two hours but I don't realizing how taxing their constant barrage of questions really are until I'm away from their tyranny. Grocery shopping is usually done late at night either after the kids 8pm bed time or after I'm done at the gym. I try to meal plan as much as possible but lately I just go and wing it. This is a terrible, expensive idea and I really need to stop. I did manage to meal plan last night but haven't actually made it to the store. When I do take all the kids to the store everyone has an assigned corner on the cart. One hand must be on YOUR corner of the cart. Sawyer is in the baby seat. This makes shopping easy. I hand the kids food and they load the cart. If Eitan is being wild (always) he has to sit in the cart and be the organizer. My kids are very quiet and well behaved at the store (minus Eitan) so we actually tend to get compliments a lot on shopping trips. It's small validation that I'm doing something semi decent in my job.

Sawyer

Sawyer is our only biological child. While I had long assumed that I could get pregnant, I didn't want to BECOME pregnant, because seriously, that's gross. So Sawyers start in life was "Man I have a terrible stomach bug", which turned into "What on earth is wrong with me?! Do I have a parasite or something?!". As it turned out, I did have a parasite, just not the kind I had assumed. Long story short I keep telling the doctor that prescribed me my birth control that Sawyer is technically HIS son, and I want Sawyers first tattoo to be a PSA about how when Pfizer says the pill is only 98% effective, they mean it. ANYWAYS, despite the unexpectedness of Sawyer, he is my baby bear. I love that little fat chunk. Sawyer is a mommas boy. He loves me (read: boobs) and follows me everywhere, unless of course, I ask him to come, he is after all a boy. Sawyer got his name because older brother Eitan is as nefarious as Huckleberry Finn. With that as an older brother there was no hope for this baby. True to the box we put him in, before he was even born, Sawyer is just now starting to show his mischievous side. But at the end of the day he still wants his mommy (read: more boobs). 

Eitan

I think Eitan, 3, is best known for his hair. His puff can be seen for miles around. He is also very well known for his insomnia. His late night antics are very funny to well rested people. Born at 32 weeks he was 4 lbs 3oz but has made up for it. All day, every single day, every second of the day he says "I'm so, so, so, SOOOOO hungry". He eats, and eats, and eats, and eats, it's insane. Eitan's nickname is Wild bear, because, seriously, hes wild. Up until his adoption he was a perfect, well sleeping angel, and then literally, while we were at the court house he started fussing. I think in his mind he knew he could finally let it out. Even though he was only 9 months old when he was adopted keeping his behavior in check for those 9 months has come out 10-fold. Eitan is wild. He uses his head as a third arm. It's like he doesn't feel pain because he's been known to fall off of some pretty crazy stuff and just jump back up like nothing happened. Eitan makes me angry almost as much as he makes me laugh. Every manor-ism that he has is funny.  He single handily makes having a large family difficult and fun at the same time.